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商务写作中的“You attitude”

作者: 南京翻译公司 发布时间:2017-01-17 14:31:52  点击率:

书面交流的三条新原则

  1. If you can say it, you can write it 如果可以这么说,就可以这么写

很多时候我们不是不会写,而是纠结于个别的字句,拖拖拉拉想要写个完美的开头,或者选个优雅的词汇,结果虎头蛇尾,甚至不能善始善终。商务英语需要的是简洁有力。另外,在商务英语信函中,我们往往只会提供一些较为客观的信息事实,无法展现自己的声调、表情。因此,采用接近口语的方式写作不是为明智之举——因为我们在写作中融入了自己的人格与个性。这使我们与众不同,能与读者建立更为紧密的联系。

 2.Write for today, not yesterday. 弃旧图新,改用新式写作方法

【举个栗子】

Yesterday:Please be advised that a meeting of the Annual Convention Committee will be held on 24 February (Thursday) at 9:30 am. Approximately 2 hours will be required for the meeting and you are required to attend to report on progress made since the last meeting. Kindly advise me of your availability at your soonest.

这个例子被动冗长、枯燥乏味,影响理解。读下来觉得有点冒冷汗……

Today:I’d like to hold another meeting of the Annual Convention Committee on Thursday 24 February from 9:30 to 11:30 am. I hope you can attend to report on the great ideas you brought at the last meeting. Pleas confirm if you can join us.

今天人们更多地将信函视为建立关系,凸显自己特点的手段,因此在撰写时会时常注意将You(即读者)放在重要的位置上,希望收件人能愉快地接受,而非被动地收下。

3.Aim to build relationships 旨在建立关系

一些人喜欢使用Please be reminded(现谨提醒)/Kindly be advised(兹通知)Please find attached现谨附上)/herewith(随信)/above-mentioned(以上所言),这些语言可能会使你的语言乏味,而不能展现你的个性,甚至你的真实意思。如果以建立良好关系为出发点,用积极、新鲜、有趣的口吻来写作,融入你的情感和个性,将有助于人们了解文字背后真实的你。

那么,为了建立良好的关系,我们在写邮件的时候一定要注意使用POSITIVE用语。

 

POSITIVE approach

 

其实积极的用语私以为可以从属You Attitude。因为都是为对方考虑,有利关系的建立。

How to be positive?
 强调情形较为有利的一面(而非不利的)
 叙述什么是可以做的(而非不能做的)
 尽量在语法上不用否定(grammatical negative,比如no,cannot,will not或者can’t以及像criticize,fail,reject,must,force等较为消极的词汇)
 避免使用怀疑的语气
 在表达积极意义上使用具体的词汇,表达不太积极的意义时用不太具体的词汇
 

下面,来看几个例子


 You’ll never regret using our bank.
改 You will benefit from our many banking services.

 We cannot ship your sofa until July 1.
改 Your sofa will be shipped on July 1.

 We close the café every night at 1130 so that we can go home.
改 The café will remain open until 1130 pm for the convenience of our customers.

 After just one week of our weight-loss program, you won’t feel fat and miserable.
改 After only one week of “Aerobics for Fitness”, your clothes will be looser and you will feel strong and trim.

 I will not be able to attend the dinner on Friday, March 3 but I will be present for the luncheon.
改 On Friday, March 3, I can attend only the luncheon.

 You must pay your bill by the tenth of each mouth to receive a discount of 2 percent.
改 By paying your monthly invoice by the tenth, you will earn a 2 percent discount.

 If you want to follow these instructions…
改 You will find these instructions helpful, for…

 If you want to order this book…
改 Just sigh the enclosed card and Effective Reports will soon be on its way to you…

 We hope this meets your approval…
改 We think you will like this change of procedure because…

 Unfortunately, I have no business experiences.
改 My courses in business administration at Indiana State University have given me an understanding of the fundamentals of management and supervision.

 We have learnt of the unfortunate circumstances of your accident, illness, and losses in the stock market.
改 We are sorry to know what has happened to you these days.

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